<ul><li>This is gonna take a WHILE I warn ya</li><li>Halve your pumpkin(s) with a bigarse knife and remove the seeds with
a bigarse spoon. Believe me, you’ll want a big spoon for this. And
there will be many seeds, including in unexpected corners. Patience is
required</li><li>Put your pumpkin halves into a preheated oven at 200°C for 45
minutes. If they come out not quite soft enough, pop back in for another
5-10 mins</li><li>While those are cooking, get your spring onions washed and chopped.
We’re using both the green bits and the white bits. Chop your green bits
larger and your white bits smaller<ul><li>Bung your chopped onion onto a
sieve/small strainer immersed in a bowl of cold water and leave there
for now to loosen any further grode before you add them to the pot
later. This prevents unpleasant dirtcrunch</li></ul>
</li><li>Now clean your baby button mushrooms and chop each of them in half. These will be your skulls.</li><li>Once pumpkin halves are cooked, grab that big spoon again and scoop
out all the flesh into a big pot. They should be soft enough for you to
get right down to the skin.</li><li>Put the chestnut puree in and BLENNNND till smooth</li><li>Add in as many cups of water as it takes to make a soupy consistency
(large yields will need 5-6 cups, or 4-5 cups plus a tin of coconut
milk that you’ll add towards the end) and bring to the boil. You’re
gonna need to be stirring regularly now cause this’ll be splappy.
Patience required here too</li><li>Chuck in your mushrooms, along with your garlic, pepper trio (special emphasis on the white pepper), and choice of sodium</li><li>Once the mushrooms are cooking all nice-like, add in your onions</li><li>While onions are cooking to preferred level of
softness/cooked-crunch, add in loadsa sage and adjust for flavour,
optionally using any of the optional options</li><li>Once all cooked and tasting fab, YER DONE. AT LAST. -‿-</li></ul>